Christmas Frustrations

You can smell it can’t you? You can see it, touch it, hear it and even taste it. It’s cold outside and warm in. Some places will have a white one, while others will endure the brown Christmas. This time of year brings out the best in all people (at least that is what we want to think); even Scrooge lost his appetite for “Bah humbug!”
It is of course Christmas that I am writing about. It is that time of the year that we all come together to celebrate Christ’s coming as a helpless little baby. And what a celebration we have. We buy, or make presents for our loved ones. We have special music to sing and listen to. We write annual family “update” letters to our friends and families. We eat… a lot! Take your pick from cookies, pies, turkeys, hams, ducks, geese, cranberries, stuffing (what an appropriate name), and candy canes. We drink hot cider, hot chocolate, and eggnog.
The music of the season is one of God’s greatest blessings. We can go to church and listen to the choir. We can simply put in our favorite Christmas CD and listen to it over and over again. There are old time favorites and new songs that somehow capture the soul of the season too.
How much do we spend on Christmas lights? From the purchase of the lights to the electricity that keeps them going staggers the mind. But there they are. We are no different. Or should I say we tried not to be different. However, the outside lights hit a snag, blew a fuse or something so they aren't working. But we do have lights inside. On the Christmas trees (instead of one big one there are six or seven small tress) there are lights and even in the boys "secret" hideout beneath the stairs there are Christmas lights.
Every year though I feel more frustration than not. It’s not that I don’t like Christmas. It’s not that I am a Scrooge either. I love my family and they love me too. We are not rich people, but the presents are always good. I am not a big eater, but I do like the food. I can’t really sing all that well, but I do love the music. So what is my problem?
I have struggled with this dilemma for several years. When all the presents are opened, when all the food is eaten, when love has been given I sense that there has to be more, but what? As I have written the presents, music, food, family, and friends are all good. So why do I feel hollow inside? Why do I always think there has to be more? Why am I so frustrated?
This year as I was pondering this question the answer came to me. It is by God’s grace and mercy that He has helped me understand. The answer is Jesus. Well, it’s not actually that easy. Of course Christmas is about Jesus, no matter how hard some people try to ignore it.
When I think of Christmas I also think of Easter. After all there would be no Easter without Christmas. I think of what a Holy Night it must have been. It was a blessed night that changed the world forever. But I also think of how painful it must have been for The Father to look at His Son. He was saying goodbye for thirty-some years. He knew that one day that helpless baby would take on the sins of the world when He would be hung on a cross naked with nails through His hands and feet. I think that it is Michael W. Smith that says in one of his songs that “Jesus lived to die.” Jesus lived to die for me. I wonder how much I really appreciate what Jesus did for me.
Maybe it is because of the Generation Xer in me, but I also get frustrated because I want more. It is not gifts or food that I want more of. I want to go home. Not back to Iowa, because that is where I am this year. I want to experience Christmas with Jesus. I want to sit at a banquet table and eat with Him as the disciples did. I want to hear the heavenly choir sing praises to Him. And I want to thank Jesus that He was a baby.
I always feel a bit strange opening presents while celebrating someone else's birthday. It would be like having a birthday party for someone but they aren't there so we get each other presents to open. Everyone would think that would be a bit bizarre, but we do it at Christmas and don't think about it at all. Maybe we should decide that we need to give a present to Jesus-something of ourselves to Him.
I wonder what people would think of that? It would seem to me that maybe that would turn some heads and make people wonder about those strange Christians. "What did you get for Christmas?" "Nothing, this year I gave Jesus my pride to deal with." Or, "This year I decided to give Jesus more money, it is His birthday after all."
At second glance this frustration that I have is probably a good one. For me it is remembering whose I really am and where my real home is. So, for you I hope that you have a Merry Christmas, but I pray that you feel some of the same frustration I feel.