MS and Raising Two Boys

I can't remember which of the boys said it, but one of their friends asked a question about me and me being sick (this was when we were in Washington so Andy and Alex were still little) and one of the boys said that I had MSN! If nothing else it shows the far reaching influence of Microsoft in Western Washington.
When it comes to having MS and raising children it can be a bit confusing for them. Here is their dad, almost a superhuman (as I have said the boys were young, now that Andy is a teen and Alex is not far behind the whole superhuman perception is completely gone) and he has become very sick and dad doesn't get better. Dad has lost his job, mom is rarely home because she is working two or three jobs to keep our heads above water, we are going to a new church, and now we have new friends. It had to be so confusing and scary to them both.
I say it had to be only because this is something that the boys don't talk a lot about. They were young, specially Alex, and so they don't remember a lot of details. I do know from talking to Andy at the time, and now, he just knew things had changed and that our family was different. There are so many thoughts and feelings that Nickie and I were muddling through and how the boys made it through is simply a gift of God's.
I can say that they both miss their dad that had a lot of energy and could play at any time with them. That has been brought up many times. I think that deep down at times they resent the fact that I have MS. It has changed all of our lives in a profound way. I think that they are still somewhat confused as to why they have a dad that is broken. And they, at times, are mad because they can't fix me. I will be broken until the day I die.
I do know that because I have MS they are scared that they will get it someday too (there are absolutely no evidence that shows that MS is a family disease, but the thought is going to be there anyway). My mom has gone through a battle with colon cancer (she has been cancer free for many years) and my dad has been diagnosed with Parkinson's recently so I know they are frightened they will "catch" something.
All of the above is the negative side of our situation. If that was all there was to the story it would be pretty depressing. But, by God's grace it is far from all negative. I think the biggest thing that the boys have seen is real life. In our Christian culture that sometimes doesn't want to deal with struggling we as a family have had it hit us between the eyes.
Andy and Alex has been witnesses to how God will provide for you in the midst of troubles. They know what it is like to experience peace in the middle of the storm. They have been on the front lines of watching parents that love one another and their boys when the choice could have been made to pack it all in and give up on one another. And they know what it is like to work as a team to get things done (no parent can do it all on their own anyway, but when a chronic illness enters the scene there is not a lot a pretending). In short they have struggled with life issues as Christians at a young age (both of the boys became Christians at very young ages which I am thankful for. I know that God knew what was going to happen to our family and thus made Himself known to Andy and Alex at young ages so that they would feel His love and mercy in a very real and personal way all the way through the dark days) and I believe they are better for it.